i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
