You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
