so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
