Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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