O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
where am i from again
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize