Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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