He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
