Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize