yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
