I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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