did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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