operation harelip BJ is a go
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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