Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
