I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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