Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
