dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
