i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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