did you get engaged???
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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