our cab driver is having phone sex.
Four minutes until I can fart!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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