OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
