Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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