ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
