My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize