I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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