It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
