It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
