What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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