She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
