so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
