ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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