We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
