My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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