that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
