we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
