I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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