Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
