So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
false alarm. still invincible.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
