Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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