I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
