so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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