Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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