what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
