he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just found puke in my bra..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize