Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize