Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
