Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
