Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
