He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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