Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
