I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
be right there i have to get my cape
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
