Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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