i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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