There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
