Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize