does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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