I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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