I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
