I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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