i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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