We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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