oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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