its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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