If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
