You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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