just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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