hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
