tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
