It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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