theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There r osticjed everywhere
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
