I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
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The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
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She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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