you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
