Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
