Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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